Did You Know

Did you know that I’m not the first genius to think of drinking 10 Cokes a day? As far as I and the Internet know, I’m the second; the first was Jude Law, who reports that he drank 10 Cokes a day to gain weight for his role as Dom Hemingway.

Well, this is only the second day in, and as I reported on Facebook, I’m not enjoying the fun of slamming all this Coke as much as yesterday, but, also, it’s not like it’s actually hard. It’s not like having a job or something, so don’t cry for me, Argentina. Also, not much physical change to report. Scale said 2 pounds heavier this morning, I forgot to measure my fasting glucose, and my blood pressure is a bit higher, at 136/81. Nothing to get upset about.

Like my buddy Jude, I expect to gain weight, and here’s a question: Would I gain the same amount of weight if I added 1400 calories of meat to my diet?

No, I wouldn’t, and further, I could potentially gain more weight this month than just the addition of 1400 daily calories would add up to. The reason is insulin. Your fat tissue stores fatty acids and lipids based on the presence of insulin. A high insulin level – like I’m producing by drinking sugared drinks all day – tells the fat cells to store fat. A low insulin level, like when I’m just eating meat, fat, and green veggies all day, tells the fat cells not to store fat. So, my fat cells are now storing as much as they can get their sweaty little hands on – from ALL the food I eat, not just the sugared sodas. All the Cokes are doing is raising my insulin level. The additional calories are not the main problem.

What if I was adding 1400 calories of pure fat every day? Sucking lardcicles and drinking coconut oil straight from the jar? Same thing. Fat doesn’t cause insulin spikes like sugars and starches do, so my insulin would remain low, the fat cells wouldn’t be cued to store fat, and the coconut oil would go straight through me, like a penny through a toddler.

In fact, one of the most pervasive, and false, theories of weight loss is “calories in, calories out:” the idea that you have to burn all your calories or else they’ll be stored as fat. Wrong. Poo has calories. 1000’s of calories. Ask that pudgy, know-it-all gym instructor to explain that the next time he’s telling you to jump on the elliptical machine and burn off that burger you had for lunch. Wrong, wrong, dangerously wrong. That burger (minus the bread) was probably the healthiest thing you ate all day.

Don’t worry about calories. Worry about insulin levels, and what foods you’re eating that can cause high insulin. Grains and sugars cause your insulin level to rise and you get fat. Meats and fats don’t spike your insulin, so they help you to lose weight.

That said, I’m having another Coke.

Four Cokes In

Four cokes in and it’s 11:30. I need to pick up the pace. I want to stop drinking Cokes by 4 pm., so I can eventually sleep, which means I’ve got six more (six and half; I’m not done with this one) to drink in the next four hours. And I have to drink lunch.

So far, I’m a bit jittery from the caffeine, but not much worse than when I drink espresso all day. Oh, and I did have some espresso, too. I forgot. This morning, after two cokes, I was groggy and dispirited, feeling the weight of all those Cokes ahead of me, and I slammed two espressos just for the warmth and comfort.

But, basically, I’m still feeling like, yeah, I can do this.

There. I just finished number four.

Getting ready to start

I’m getting ready to start drinking ten Cokes a day – probably by Friday. What do I mean getting ready? I got a complete physical yesterday, for example, and I’ll post those results when they’re ready. I also have weighed myself (167), measured my bodyfat (10%), my blood pressure (122/77) and started measuring my fasting blood sugar level every morning when I get up.

And I have to find a place that has Coke on sale.

I’m going to do another little experiment…

I’m going to drink 10 Diet Cokes a day for 30 days and see how it affects my health. After I drank 10 Cokes a day for 30 days and gained 23 pounds, many people have been asking how the experiment would work with Diet Cokes.

Would I still gain weight? Would it affect my health in other ways? Seemed worth an experiment, and I’d much prefer a month of drinking diet sodas than a month of sugared sodas, so it’s a win-win situation. Kind of. Still a lot of Diet Coke.