Did you know that I’m not the first genius to think of drinking 10 Cokes a day? As far as I and the Internet know, I’m the second; the first was Jude Law, who reports that he drank 10 Cokes a day to gain weight for his role as Dom Hemingway.
Well, this is only the second day in, and as I reported on Facebook, I’m not enjoying the fun of slamming all this Coke as much as yesterday, but, also, it’s not like it’s actually hard. It’s not like having a job or something, so don’t cry for me, Argentina. Also, not much physical change to report. Scale said 2 pounds heavier this morning, I forgot to measure my fasting glucose, and my blood pressure is a bit higher, at 136/81. Nothing to get upset about.
Like my buddy Jude, I expect to gain weight, and here’s a question: Would I gain the same amount of weight if I added 1400 calories of meat to my diet?
No, I wouldn’t, and further, I could potentially gain more weight this month than just the addition of 1400 daily calories would add up to. The reason is insulin. Your fat tissue stores fatty acids and lipids based on the presence of insulin. A high insulin level – like I’m producing by drinking sugared drinks all day – tells the fat cells to store fat. A low insulin level, like when I’m just eating meat, fat, and green veggies all day, tells the fat cells not to store fat. So, my fat cells are now storing as much as they can get their sweaty little hands on – from ALL the food I eat, not just the sugared sodas. All the Cokes are doing is raising my insulin level. The additional calories are not the main problem.
What if I was adding 1400 calories of pure fat every day? Sucking lardcicles and drinking coconut oil straight from the jar? Same thing. Fat doesn’t cause insulin spikes like sugars and starches do, so my insulin would remain low, the fat cells wouldn’t be cued to store fat, and the coconut oil would go straight through me, like a penny through a toddler.
In fact, one of the most pervasive, and false, theories of weight loss is “calories in, calories out:” the idea that you have to burn all your calories or else they’ll be stored as fat. Wrong. Poo has calories. 1000’s of calories. Ask that pudgy, know-it-all gym instructor to explain that the next time he’s telling you to jump on the elliptical machine and burn off that burger you had for lunch. Wrong, wrong, dangerously wrong. That burger (minus the bread) was probably the healthiest thing you ate all day.
Don’t worry about calories. Worry about insulin levels, and what foods you’re eating that can cause high insulin. Grains and sugars cause your insulin level to rise and you get fat. Meats and fats don’t spike your insulin, so they help you to lose weight.
That said, I’m having another Coke.